I Can Finally Say it...I'm a Half Marathon Finisher

It's taken me almost a week to write this post because I was still mentally (and physically) recovering from the race. It didn't go quite the way I had hoped, but I am finally so happy with and proud of my accomplishment. I'm sorry for how long this post is, but it was an emotional race for me, and I really needed to relive it all and put it in to words.

Natalie and I didn't see each other all week before the race (which is really strange for us), so I was extremely excited to hang out with her and run the race together. The race environment was so exhilarating with all of the runners pumped to complete their respective races and all the onlookers cheering us on. There were even tons of students out on their porches playing music for us and drinking at 7:30 am...one of those things that only happens in college. I always try to run the first half of my longer races and long practice runs without music, so all of the provided music and cheering kept me excited and entertained for a long time.

Thankfully we had an amazing 9:10 minute pacer, Betty, whom we tried to stay with for most of the time. I never understood just how helpful a pacer could be, but wow, she was fabulous! She would constantly get the crowd to cheer us on, tell us words of motivation, and give us tips like "slow your breathing down" and "relax your shoulders," which were always really helpful.

The Italian flag sign my mom had waiting for Nat & me
around mile 4.

Miles 5 & 6 were rough because we were out in the middle of nowhere with few fans cheering us on and lots of wind. I tried my best to stay focused and entertained by the other people running around us. My favorite comment was "I just love a good head wind," which literally made me laugh out loud because the wind was so strong, and I always love a good sarcastic comment. Another favorite moment around that time was a man who passed us with a shirt reading "Wildcard...Bitches." Natalie screamed the line for everyone to hear and we had a good, uplifting chuckle about it. It's so helpful to have light hearted moments like that when you're out running for 13 miles or as one man put it "Wow, we're going to be running for 2 hours...."

Little proof pic, but there we are!

We mostly ran through the streets of Urbana, but mixed the terrain up a bit when we got to Meadowbrook Park and had to feed in to a small running path. Nat & I had run out there multiple times, but nothing can prepare you for thousands of other people running alongside you on a small path. This was where I finally put my iPod in, and I really had to focus on each step I took. I've never had to literally focus on every step I took, but with so many people around me and knowing that we were right on our goal pace with quite a long ways still to go, it was all I could really do.

There were a few times when it was hard to imagine going for another mile, but I knew I could run one more step, and as long as I could continue running that one more step, I was set. That was until I literally could not run that one more step.

At mile 10 we slowed down for water, and after spilling most of it on myself, I asked Nat if we could walk for a minute to finish our water. It seemed like a good idea until my knee completely gave out. I've run through knee pain before, but this was something completely new to me. I tried so hard to run, even just walk, but for a little bit I couldn't even put weight on my leg.

I could not believe this was happening. 3 months of devotion and training and now this? I saw all of my hard work falling apart and didn't know what to do. I wanted to scream, to cry, to give up, to sit down and make someone come get me. I was so angry and could not believe it was happening. I tried to stretch it out, but nothing was working. I knew Nat wouldn't leave me unless I told her to, but I also didn't want to ruin her race. After realizing I wouldn't be able to run for a while, I made her go on without me, and I took on the rest of the race myself.

There were moments when I honestly thought I wouldn't be able to finish the race. Walking 2.5 miles in pain with everyone else passing me and people on the sidelines cheering me on even though I was walking is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm a very prideful person and to be forced to walk was extremely upsetting to me. I tried running multiple times, but couldn't make it farther then a few strides. I finally decided my new goal was just to finish.

Many people tried to get me to run with them, which was really nice of them but also frustrating. I knew I probably only had about a half mile of running left in me and wanted to save it so I could run across the finish line. When I turned on to Kirby, I knew it was time to run. Both sides of the path were filled with people cheering all the runners on, and I knew it was now or never. By some miracle of fate, my absolute favorite running song,  "Club Can't Handle Me" by Flo Rida ft. David Guetta came on my iPod just as I turned the corner. As I wrote in my "Music Memories" post, this song always gives me an unnatural burst of energy and reminds me how strong of a person I am. If I ever needed to be reminded of that, this was the time.

As I rounded the last corner, I heard my cousin Matthew cheering me on, and it was the last bit encouragement I needed to make it in to the stadium and across the finish line. It felt so good to be running again and well on my way to completing the race. Even though my finish wasn't the way I had imagined it, it was still amazing. I finished when I could have given up.

I'm not going to lie, I was really upset after the race, which is why it has taken me so long to write this. After seeing all of my friends and family being so proud of me and letting some time pass, however, I am honestly so proud of my accomplishment. I finished my first half marathon and no one can take that away from me.

So thankful for my family this weekend! 

And of course thankful for my running partner & friend!