Day 8: My Newfound/Refound Drive to Change My Life for the Better

It literally took everything I had to get through my run today. My quick shopping trip with Julie turned in to a 5 hour adventure, which was a lot of fun, but also left me really tired and I didn't get to the ARC until around 6 pm.

Once there, I couldn't find a parking spot and drove around the entire lot twice before finding one. I wanted to just go home so badly. Why was I driving around some stupid, snow covered parking lot so I could run when I was tired and a little hungry? Why?...Because I want to change my life.

While out shopping I wasn't pleased with how the few things I tried on looked on me and I just genuinely didn't feel all that great. I saw other women trying things on and not being satisfied either and it just reminded me that I'm in charge of my health and well being so why not make it good? I am a big fan of the blog and movement Operation Beautiful, but it can be hard to feel beautiful when I'm not doing beautiful things for my body aka working out and eating a well balanced diet.

After the 2 laps, I finally did find a parking spot and headed through the cold to the gym. Thursday evening I made a really great new playlist for working out and cooling down that I was pumped about listening to, but when I was trying to play it on my iPod while leaving the locker room it wouldn't play! I soon remembered that I had been in a hurry earlier in the day to pack my gym bag and didn't properly disconnect the iPod, so it didn't actually update. I was so frustrated, but I was already there in my gym clothes and half way up the stairs to the main floor, so I decided to just run on the treadmill (blah) and plug my headphones in to the machine and watch some TV.

My gym bag and silly iPod.

One good thing, I found How I Met Your Mother on Lifetime. Score! And I was doing 3 miles, so a half hour show is pretty much perfect timing. Things were going really well, and I was genuinely enjoying myself running and watching HIMYM. I paused after 1 mile for a quick water break then got right back at it until I accidentally hit the emergency stop button around 2.25 miles. I can't remember if anyone was around me on other machines, but I hope not because I just started muttering frustrations "what, how did that happen!?!", "no, keep going, keep going, don't shut down!", and other random ramblings of frustration. It's so annoying to be at a good, steady pace and then be stopped before I'm done with my workout.

I was already having a rough time with this run and couldn't get up the energy to run another full mile, so I decided to just get to 2.5 and call it a day. I wish I could have made it to the 3, but in the long run, I was meeting up with a friend later, so the extra time to get ready was helpful. Also, looking at my workout calendar now, I realize that I hadn't run since Monday, so I'm glad I listened to my body and realized maybe I wasn't ready for the full 3 miles yet. I still have 2 weeks until I'm technically supposed to be able to do 3 consistently & I'll be able to do that on tomorrow or Monday.

Even though it was a struggle, I did also feel my sense of drive again. That "don't give up, you can do this" feeling that is so empowering and encouraging that I really can change my life for the better. I had lost it for a few seasons, but it's back and I believe in it more than ever.

My trusty Nikes and I made it through :)